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Sanalog | 2022-08-17

Unconditional Love

August 2022

The importance of self love is a bullshit dogma. Such a narcissistic concept possesses intrinsic, paradoxical flaws. Self love alone cannot keep a man alive, for death is an easy escape from the commitment to self. Humans need an external motivator to live. A goal to vie for no matter what. Unconditional love.

There is a small issue. Everything and everyone I love are those which have shaped (loved) me as a person, and thus is the ultimate form of pathetic self love. I do not believe I am capable of unconditional love. Losing those who love me is equivalent to losing the ones I love. And if that happens, how will I stay alive?

Nothing is subject to my unconditional love, so the next best option is to look for sustenance. Look for those who will love me unconditionally, and hopefully outlast me. The confinements of physicality unfortunately means that my hunt for Sustenance cannot end at my parents - who are keeping me alive as I write this. I concede that it is egocentric to expect unidirectional unconditional love, but contrition over something I have no control over is futile.


The word 'love' is used very broadly, it obviously goes beyond eros and also beyond agape. Unhealthy obsessions and addiction could easily fall under love in this context. I even go on to use love as a euphemism for influence.

You might be wondering why I have not yet killed myself if 'self love alone cannot keep a man alive'. That is true. I would not need Sustenance if I were dead. Yet my desire for Sustenance suggests that I do, in fact, have unconditional love (for Sustenance or something beyond). That is to say, I live to find Sustenance, to live. This meta loop (and the entire piece) is not as confusing if you juxtapose love with the meaning of life. The meaning of life being to find the meaning of life is a common idea shared by many.

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